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THE LEGEND OF RILEY
The most useless pokemon card ever
CA:
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Riley does nothing. His only text is a rule everyone already knows.
This card exists only to take up space in your binder and make you sad.
We’re quietly buying every single copy in existence, then burning most of them, just to watch the world’s worst card hit $10,000.
All hail the king of uselessness.
Vast majority of fees go towards buying more Rileys.
Rileys
Collected
Rileys
BURNED
The Legend
THE STORY OF HOW OUR RESIDENT MADLAD KICKSTARTED HIS QUEST
Chapter 1
It’s 3 a.m., half-dead on the couch, his eyes barely open. He cracks another pack in TCG Pocket.
A shiny full-art Riley drops.
“Your opponent can’t break the rules.”
He laughs so hard he scares the cat into another dimension. Still wheezing, he whispers to himself:
“I need more of these idiots.”
Chapter 2
Early in the morning while ODSing on Monster Energy, he snaps a blurry selfie with the card, grinning like he discovered fire.
He mutters a vow only the toaster hears:
“Every Riley. Every single copy. Mine.”
He clears out every listing in a 100-mile radius.
Sellers message him things like:
“Dude are you okay?”
He is not.
Chapter 3
Paychecks vanish. Shelves bend. His wall becomes a deranged shrine of identical Riley faces.
He buys a miscut Riley that looks like it fell down the stairs.
“It has character,” he explains to no one.
His mom opens the fridge and finds a Riley taped to the milk.
She quietly closes the door and walks away.
Chapter 4
One late night, he finds a Riley he didn’t even know existed.
He buys it instantly.
He lays his collection out across the floor like a detective losing his mind… and realizes he’s still missing more.
He’s close — but not finished. He snaps a photo of the growing Riley stockpile, smiles, and mutters:
“I'm gonna catch ’em all… and when I do, I alone decide what Riley is worth.”
And now we reach the present, where our hero marches on— driven, sleepless, and absolutely feral in his pursuit of Total Riley Domination.
PFP Generator
BECOME ONE WITH RILEY, ALL MUST BE RILEY